Coming out & dating

Usually, when I start dating someone I am already out to them or come out within the first few interactions.  Its important to me to know that the person respects my identity before getting involved and attached.  Generally, coming out tends to be a rewarding experience.  Many people express a new level of knowledge about human sexuality after I explain to them what bisexuality means to me.  Sometimes, well fairly often actually, people express their own bisexual feelings to me either at the time, or later.

Very recently, I began “casually dating” someone that I have been acquantances with for several years.  I was not sure if this person knew how I identify or not, and was a little nervous to come out not knowing how they would react.  When I expressed my nervousness to my straight-yet very affirming roommate she said “well, maybe this person has bisexual feelings, too, you never know right?”  and my internalized biphobia came out and said ” No, no, I am pretty sure they aren’t bi, sometimes you just know”.

I was happily proven wrong, when after stumbly upon my myspace profile (which outs me as bi), the person I am dating expressed sexual feelings for men, and wanting to pursue that more.  I felt, happy, relieved and excited that this person felt comfortable to share this with me, and is acting on feelings they have had for a long time.  Happy bi moment!

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2 Responses to “Coming out & dating”

  1. Internet Lover Says:

    Coming out is rewarding but for many, it is not an easy process.

  2. missatwinkletoes8 Says:

    Well, yes, of course it is not easy. I have spent 6 years thinking about how not easy it is, but I also think there is a lot of literature, and talk about how hard it is. Talking about the rewards of coming out is important too, especially for bi folks who may get a lot of crap from straight and queer folks when they come out, and have to continually come out. My point with this post was to focus on the positives for a bit, because it can be daunting to only think about how hard it is. I think I often tell my hard stories, it is not often that I sit down and really think about how good it is to be out, and how it often helps other people become more comfortable with themselves.

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