Archive for the ‘biphobia’ Category

tired and sad: what to do about biphobia?

July 12, 2008

I am feeling really sad and hopeless right now.  I just don’t know how to keep telling people how I feel, when it seems very few people are actually listening.  Maybe people don’t realize how much it affects me because I try to be calm about it, and I really haven’t gotten super upset in awhile.  Biphobia affects me, it affects my life.  I make choices everyday about how much to reveal about myself to every single person I interact with because of biphobia.  Biphobia affects my experience at work, and I am constantly conscious of myself as a bisexual person when I am working.  When I meet someone new, I have to decide when and how to come out to them, and they may never know that I am bi, depending on the situation.  It all depends on how many questions I want to answer, or myths I want to dispel.  Since most people don’t think they know anyone who is bi and/or have a lot of stereotypes about what that means, and the Queer community at large has not cared to tell straight people that bi people exist, it is generally acceptable for people to ask all sorts of weird questions.  Sometimes this is generally out of curiosity, but really, I don’t always want to be answering questions about my sex life or my identity.  Who would?  In additon to my public, work life, in my personal life I have to make the same choices.  Most of the people I hang out with know I am bi, but that doesn’t stop biphobic things from coming out of people’s mouths.  Most of the time this seems to be an issue of lack of understanding that biphobia is a true experience, and very separate and different from homophobia.  I experience homophobia too, but it looks a lot different, and to me, is easier to deal with because many people understand and are supportive when homophobia happens.  I am tired of telling people that something they said was biphobic in the gentlest way possible, or just taking it in until I can process it with someone who understands (there are two people currently on that list).  So, if you truly care about me as a person, you will do everything you can to be educated and aware and understanding, and not rely on me to tell you when something is biphobic.

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